Where there’s
Where there’s a will…I want to be on it. It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don’t drink and drive…You might hit a bump and spill it. Frie…
Stop repeat
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them! Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?I intend to live forever - so far, so good.Who is General Fa…
All generalizations
All generalizations are false, including this one. “Criminal Lawyer” is a redundancy. I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got! We are …
Circular Definition:
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.Editing is a rew…
WANTED: Meaningful
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore. So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute. Beauty is in the eye of …
Death is
Death is Nature’s way of saying ’slow down’. Don’t force it, get a larger hammer. Earn cash in your spare time…blackmail friends. Fairy tales: horro…
I love
I love animals, they taste great.EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later. “Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.” Friends help yo…
A cubicle
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. If at first you do succeed, try not to look…
Those who
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe. He’s not dead, he’s electroencephal…
Ambivalent? Well
Ambivalent? Well yes and no…. Does your train of thought have a caboose? Is it time for your medication or mine? I thought I wanted a career, turns …
