Yo momma is so fat, her ass has its own congressman. …
Yo momma is so fat, her ass has its own congressman.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? …
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
The bucket.
The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate. …
The four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant, and Chocolate.
A little boy and girl are in a bathtub, …
A little boy and girl are in a bathtub, and are naked because they are too little too understand anything like that. The girl and boy ask each other: “What’s that?” and they both reply: “I’ll ask my parents.”
So the boy goes home and asks his dad what it is. The dad looks solemnly at him and says: “Son, that’s your car. You park it in a girls garage.”
The girl goes home and says: “what’s that?” The mother says: “That’s your garage. dont let any boy park his car in it.”
The next day they are again the tub. The boy says its a car and remembers what his dad said. So he begins to put it in the girls “garage”. But then the girl remembers what her mom said.
5 minutes later, the girl comes to the mom with blood all over her. The mother asks her what was wrong and she said: “Mommy, a boy tried to put his car in my garage, but I popped his two back tires.”
Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: …
Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: “Prepare yourself for widowhood … Your husband is about to die a violent death.”
Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies: “Will I be acquitted?”
A young man with a wild and multi- …
A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits next to an old man on a park bench. The old man stares at the young man.
“What’s the matter, old man?” says the young man. “Never done anything crazy in your life?”
The old man replies: “Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son.”
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? …
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
1) After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
2) A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? …
How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he’s finished everyone will think that his last light bulb was much better.
