A salesman was given a hotel room next to one occupied by honeymooners.
The walls were thin, and the sounds of sustained sexual frenzy poured through. Finally the salesman could stand it no longer. He pounded on the walls, yelling, “Knock it off, there’s other people trying to get some sleep!”
From the other room came a weak, faltering male voice which said, “Yell louder, mister, she can’t hear you!”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A frostbite.
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. One to hold the bulb in place and 9 to drink until the room spins.
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, “What happened to your ears?”
He says, “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh! I accidentally answered the iron.”
The boss says, “Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?”
He says, “Well, geez, I had to call the doctor!”
Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.
