They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages . …
They say when you play that Microsoft CD backward you can hear satanic messages … but that’s nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows.
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bitch?
What’s the difference between a blonde and a bitch?
A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.
An Army Captain is assigned to remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he …
An Army Captain is assigned to remote desert post in Iraq. During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier why its there?
The soldier says: “There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urgers.”
A month later the Caption has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops his trousers and has sex with the camel. He asks the soldier: “Is that how the men do it?”
“No sir, they usually ride it 2 the brothel!”
What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?
What do Michael Jackson and K-Mart have in common?
They both have little boys pants half-off.
A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier …
A man goes into a drug store and asks the cashier for some condoms. The cashier asks, “What size?”
The man replies, “Size? I didn’t know they came in sizes.”
“Yes, they do,” she says, “What size do you want?”
“Well, gee, I don’t know,” the man answers.
The lady is used to this, so she tells him to go to the back yard and measure his penis by sticking it into each of the three holes in the fence. While the man is back there, the lady sneaks around to the other side of the fence and spreads her legs behind each hole as the man tests it. When they return, the cashier asks, “What will it be? Small, medium, or large?”
The man replies, “To hell with the condoms, give me a hundred feet of that fence back there!”
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
3 little ducks go into a bar. “What’s your name the barman asks the first duck?
3 little ducks go into a bar. “What’s your name the barman asks the first duck?” “Huey” was the reply. “Hows your day been Huey?” “Great, I’ve been in and out of puddles all day … what more could a duck want?”
“What’s your name he asked the 2nd duck?” “Dewey” was the reply “… and I’ve been in and out of puddles all day as well.”
He turned to the 3rd duck and said: “I suppose your Louie …?” “No she said batting her eyelids … my name is puddles!”
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up …
A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous babe nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says, “Hi, there, good looking’! How’s it going’?”
She, having already downed a few power drinks, turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said: “Listen! I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, front door, back door, it doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat-ass love it!”
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, “No kidding! I’m a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?
