Must Be A Joke!

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want …

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only one kiss per yard,” replied the smirking male clerk.

“That’s fine,” replied the girl. “I’ll take ten yards.”

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. “Grandpa will pay the bill,” she smiled.

“Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in circles?

“Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in circles?”

“Shut up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.”

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

The swallow.

Dinner Lady: “Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin.” …

Dinner Lady: “Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin.”

Pupil: “But I don’t want green skin!”

Daily Snapshot: Bird Is Watching Daytime TV

Snapshots the Cartoon Book
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Real Life Snapshot: Microwave

Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: “Prepare yourself for widowhood …

Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: “Prepare yourself for widowhood … Your husband is about to die a violent death.”

Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies: “Will I be acquitted?”

Daily Snapshot: Substitute Torturer

Snapshots the Cartoon Book
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Real Life Snapshot: Ups

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

So men can remember them.