Yo momma is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.
Yo momma is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.
Yo momma is so fat when she was lying on the beach Green Peace tried to push her …
Yo momma is so fat when she was lying on the beach Green Peace tried to push her back in the water.
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. …
A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asks, “What’s that for?” “It’s for your headache.” “I don’t have a headache.”
He replies, “Gotcha!”
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck …
Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.
When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his …
When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
Rust in peace!
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and …
A missionary who had spent years showing a tribe of natives how to farm and build things to be selfsufficient gets word that he is to return home.
He realizes that the one thing he never taught the natives was how to speak English, so he takes the chief and starts walking in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief: “This is a tree.”
The chief looks at the tree and grunts: “Tree.”
The missionary is pleased with the response.
They walk a little farther and the padre points to a rock and says: “This is a rock.”
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts: “Rock.”
The padre is really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As he peeks over the top, he sees a couple in the midst of heavy romantic activity. The padre is really flustered and quickly responds: “Riding a bike.”
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blow gun and kills them!
The padre goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and kind to each other! How could he just kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied: “My bike.”
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
